Throughout my life, I had never created my own Halloween costume. This is not due to any lack of artistic acumen. In fact, I am an artist in the truest sense of the word, completely unburdened by societal conventions. I knew that I had to wait for a project and a moment that were worthy enough to meet me at my level.
This year, a once-in-a-lifetime bolt of lightning served as a flash of inspiration by funneling itself into a bottle of insight: I could dress up in a way that shows my affinity to a sports team! And not just any old sports team, mind you. I'm talking the Minnesota Vikings. The one and only NFL legends, as selected by a random number generator that I ran earlier this year as an excuse to find a team to support.
In order to reflect the indomitable spirit of those highly paid pigskin chuckers, I knew that I had to look just like an actual viking. No other element of the viking regalia is as iconic as the horned helmet, so I made sure to to purchase one of those as soon as possible. And then, inspired by the sheer majesty of this cranial adornment, I bought a second one. Some officially branded Minnesota Vikings tape (TM) served as the bridge between these two disparate parts, much like how the Vikings serve as the tape that hold this country together. Freedom isn't free.
That is the entire costume. What else do you need?